but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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