I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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