i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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