Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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