Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
