Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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