I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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