Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
