she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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