remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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