you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
