Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
