I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
