great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
