I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize