i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I look better un-naked...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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