Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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