I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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