I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
