i don't like sucking hair
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize