Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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