More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I puked a lego.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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