quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
zippers are such a cool invention
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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