we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
