ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize