I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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