On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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