In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
