What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
