My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize