Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
