plz talk dirty to me
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
