I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
