So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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