I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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