this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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