It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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