On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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