oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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