I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize