What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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