yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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