why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
