I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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