Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
