I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
