I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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