At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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