in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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