I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
