just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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