oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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