Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i think i just lost a toe
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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