Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize