Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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