After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
