I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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