I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
