Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
