I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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