Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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