she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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