Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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