Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i love accidental penises.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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